Good morning, After deciding to extend our trip a day, I'm writing from Cape Cod where the weather has been terrific.
One of the biggest mistakes I see parents make is not addressing problems as they arise. They know these problems exist and that they are issues that are building, then they as parents will discuss these problems to other parents and then after all that, they will dismiss the issue as "my child is just going through something or they will grow out of it". If this is you then keep reading.
My experience tells me that all issues should be addressed. If you are dismissing the issues because you are worried of making a mistake or giving bad advice, stop worrying and start addressing. Think about this. If you are not giving your child advice on how to deal with problems or behavior then who is?
Their friends? Television shows? Reality TV? Come on, you know that these places of getting advice are not as good as what you are able to give and teach. Jump in there and start talking to your children.
Problems can not be ignored and must be addressed. The sooner you address it, the smaller that problem will be. The longer you wait, you are only digging a bigger hole.
So, if you have been putting something off, today is the day to tackle that issues.
To a great week ahead,
Todd
PS: Love to hear your comments on this subject. Post away.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Last Day!!
After seeing the cutest performance from my son as a cowboy this morning and looking forward to a great 4th grade concert tonight I will make this short.
In my position as the director of a residential program so many people are amazed at how quickly I am able to form a bond and gain control of children who have been out of control for so long.
My secret!!! Consistency. By the end of two weeks, children know exactly where they stand and that what I say is fair and consistent. I'm not talking about the type of leadership that is my way or the highway, but when it comes to rules and what's right sticking to them. While their is always wiggle room within rules, those exceptions should not be often.
The second part is that I always try take the time (when necessary) to explain why things are the way they are. We as parents must remember that if we want our children to turn out great then we must lead by being great. Role modeling goes a long way.
Happy Role Modeling.
Todd
PS: Today is the last day to sign up for summer parenting at the discounted price. Tomorrow the price goes up.
Click here to register.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
In my position as the director of a residential program so many people are amazed at how quickly I am able to form a bond and gain control of children who have been out of control for so long.
My secret!!! Consistency. By the end of two weeks, children know exactly where they stand and that what I say is fair and consistent. I'm not talking about the type of leadership that is my way or the highway, but when it comes to rules and what's right sticking to them. While their is always wiggle room within rules, those exceptions should not be often.
The second part is that I always try take the time (when necessary) to explain why things are the way they are. We as parents must remember that if we want our children to turn out great then we must lead by being great. Role modeling goes a long way.
Happy Role Modeling.
Todd
PS: Today is the last day to sign up for summer parenting at the discounted price. Tomorrow the price goes up.
Click here to register.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
Monday, May 14, 2012
Rainy Monday
After a great Mothers Day Weekend with the wife and kids back to a rainy Monday here in Garrison.
Summer like holidays can bring on challenging behavior for you as a parent and your children. What are the expectations, how to prevent boredom, who will be involved in what, how are we going to fill those empty days? etc. etc. I'm sure it is safe to assume that this info is not new to you as a parent,So the question is What is that you would like to do in the summer with your children? and how are you going to deal with your children on an around the clock basis? So if you have had rough summers in the past, what is going to change for you this summer?
While every family is different on how they approach the summer and what you as parents would like to see your children do and learn this summer can vary, one thing I can tell you for sure is that you need to have some kind of routine and consistency within your days. The earlier you start planning the more enjoyable your summer will be.
If planning is not your strong point be sure to attend my summer parenting workshop May 24th. Click below to sign up now. Tomorrow is the last day for our promotion of sign up and your spouse attends for free. Hurry before the price goes up.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
For more on routine and consistency check out below
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/three-step-plan.html
Enjoy,
Todd
Summer like holidays can bring on challenging behavior for you as a parent and your children. What are the expectations, how to prevent boredom, who will be involved in what, how are we going to fill those empty days? etc. etc. I'm sure it is safe to assume that this info is not new to you as a parent,So the question is What is that you would like to do in the summer with your children? and how are you going to deal with your children on an around the clock basis? So if you have had rough summers in the past, what is going to change for you this summer?
While every family is different on how they approach the summer and what you as parents would like to see your children do and learn this summer can vary, one thing I can tell you for sure is that you need to have some kind of routine and consistency within your days. The earlier you start planning the more enjoyable your summer will be.
If planning is not your strong point be sure to attend my summer parenting workshop May 24th. Click below to sign up now. Tomorrow is the last day for our promotion of sign up and your spouse attends for free. Hurry before the price goes up.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
For more on routine and consistency check out below
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/three-step-plan.html
Enjoy,
Todd
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
To Quit or Not to Quit??
With a rainy day here in Garrison I was able to spend some time with my youngest at the gym and prepare for my sons communion this weekend. Have to Love rainy days.
With the spring in full swing and children so committed to team sports their is often the battle or controversy of not enjoying oneself. If you find yourself in this situation their are some steps you can take to try to avoid a battle.
Find out why they want to quit…really why.
Is your child no longer having fun? Do they want to quit because they don’t know anyone on the team? Do they not like the coach? Do they want to try a different sport? Would they rather be doing another extracurricular activity? Do they feel like they aren’t good enough for the team? If you can find out the real reason they want to quit their youth sports team you might be able to come up with a solution.
Talk to the coach.
The coach might be able to help you better understand your child’s role on the team. Does he/she notice that your child is having a hard time keeping up with the level of play? Are they distracted at practice? How well do they interact with the other players? It always helps to get another point of view so you can better understand why your child might no longer be interested in youth sports. You also want to make sure the coach isn’t caught by surprise if your child stops coming to practice one day midway through the season. A lot of coaches blame themselves if a player quits the team, and if it isn’t their fault (maybe your child would just rather learn an instrument than play lacrosse) you don’t want them to be stuck with the guilt.
Decide if it’s worth the battle.
If the season hasn’t started yet, quitting youth sports is relatively simple. However, if you’re a month in with two months to go you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You might decide that since your child is a part of a youth sports team, they have a responsibility to that team and need to finish out the season. Explain that they don’t have to play next year, but since they made a commitment they have to stick it out. One of the valuable life lessons youth sports teaches kids is to honor their obligations and see something through to the end.
Let them quit.
It might sound crazy, but sometimes letting your child quit sports is the right thing to do. You never want to pressure your child into playing youth sports, especially when they are miserable every step of the way. If their health or school work seems to be negatively affected by belonging to a youth sports team, it’s probably not worth sticking around for much longer.
I hope this helps if you are ever faced with the situation of quitting.
Good luck and keep belonging.
Todd
PS: Copies of Three Step Parenting are selling quick, See what people are saying about the book and pick up your copy now by clicking the link below.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/three-step-plan.html
With the spring in full swing and children so committed to team sports their is often the battle or controversy of not enjoying oneself. If you find yourself in this situation their are some steps you can take to try to avoid a battle.
Find out why they want to quit…really why.
Is your child no longer having fun? Do they want to quit because they don’t know anyone on the team? Do they not like the coach? Do they want to try a different sport? Would they rather be doing another extracurricular activity? Do they feel like they aren’t good enough for the team? If you can find out the real reason they want to quit their youth sports team you might be able to come up with a solution.
Talk to the coach.
The coach might be able to help you better understand your child’s role on the team. Does he/she notice that your child is having a hard time keeping up with the level of play? Are they distracted at practice? How well do they interact with the other players? It always helps to get another point of view so you can better understand why your child might no longer be interested in youth sports. You also want to make sure the coach isn’t caught by surprise if your child stops coming to practice one day midway through the season. A lot of coaches blame themselves if a player quits the team, and if it isn’t their fault (maybe your child would just rather learn an instrument than play lacrosse) you don’t want them to be stuck with the guilt.
Decide if it’s worth the battle.
If the season hasn’t started yet, quitting youth sports is relatively simple. However, if you’re a month in with two months to go you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You might decide that since your child is a part of a youth sports team, they have a responsibility to that team and need to finish out the season. Explain that they don’t have to play next year, but since they made a commitment they have to stick it out. One of the valuable life lessons youth sports teaches kids is to honor their obligations and see something through to the end.
Let them quit.
It might sound crazy, but sometimes letting your child quit sports is the right thing to do. You never want to pressure your child into playing youth sports, especially when they are miserable every step of the way. If their health or school work seems to be negatively affected by belonging to a youth sports team, it’s probably not worth sticking around for much longer.
I hope this helps if you are ever faced with the situation of quitting.
Good luck and keep belonging.
Todd
PS: Copies of Three Step Parenting are selling quick, See what people are saying about the book and pick up your copy now by clicking the link below.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/three-step-plan.html
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Mother!!
With so many things happening all week long, I wanted to get this out early.
Today is more of a reminder than a message.
With less than 5 days until one of the greatest days of the year what are you doing to be prepared.
Of course! I'm talking about Mothers Day. So pass this along to your husband, kids etc so they now.
Some great ideas for your children and you to spoil the one you love.
1. Breakfast in Bed or even better let her sleep in.
2. SPA day, Let your lady be pampered the way she deserves.
3. Sit poolside and relax with a mimosa in the morning.
4. Shower her with great homemade cards and treats. Nothing says I love you like time and effort.
5. Not romantic or exciting but your mom would love it!! On Saturday knock out all the laundry that
has piled up. Nothing like going into mothers day with no chores needed to be complete.
6. Make Her that special dish for dinner that she loves so much.
7. Great gift idea to enjoy later in the day: A bottle of red wine labeled Mommy Time Out! lol
Yes, it is a real brand and a great way to wrap up the day.
Hope this helps.
Todd
PS: If you have not signed up yet, go there now and sign up for the parenting workshop for May 24th.
For less than $20 you can't go wrong. Spots are filling up quick so go now.
click below.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
Today is more of a reminder than a message.
With less than 5 days until one of the greatest days of the year what are you doing to be prepared.
Of course! I'm talking about Mothers Day. So pass this along to your husband, kids etc so they now.
Some great ideas for your children and you to spoil the one you love.
1. Breakfast in Bed or even better let her sleep in.
2. SPA day, Let your lady be pampered the way she deserves.
3. Sit poolside and relax with a mimosa in the morning.
4. Shower her with great homemade cards and treats. Nothing says I love you like time and effort.
5. Not romantic or exciting but your mom would love it!! On Saturday knock out all the laundry that
has piled up. Nothing like going into mothers day with no chores needed to be complete.
6. Make Her that special dish for dinner that she loves so much.
7. Great gift idea to enjoy later in the day: A bottle of red wine labeled Mommy Time Out! lol
Yes, it is a real brand and a great way to wrap up the day.
Hope this helps.
Todd
PS: If you have not signed up yet, go there now and sign up for the parenting workshop for May 24th.
For less than $20 you can't go wrong. Spots are filling up quick so go now.
click below.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
Friday, May 4, 2012
What do you want from me???
With the sun shining and a full weekend of coaching and cheering ahead of me, I am excited to start the weekend. I hope you are too.
So lets look at what your teenager might be trying to tell you. Often those who are parents of teenagers will find that their young adults will come home from school and act one of two ways. Not talk to you because you just don't understand / or they may be filled with information about the day. So when the information or topic is about a negative situation at school or with friends, what do you do as a parent?
1. Keep cool, This will teach your teenager to think and problem solve vs react out of haste. (besides
if they are asking you must be doing something right)
2. Prior to offering your opinion try to figure out if they are seeking your input or only venting.
3. If they are looking for help, try to problem solve. Don't give answers on what you would do,
however ask your child in return open ended questions to help keep the conversation going.
Note: The more you allow your child to talk and discuss the issue the more they will likely be
able to make a decision on how to proceed. You can also use door openers if you feel your
child would like to share something but is holding back, Door openers sound like this:
"I'd like to hear more", "Tell me more", "Go on" .
4. Once your child has developed a plan or an awareness of the situation, complement them on being
able to work it through.
Keep in mind that as a parent you would like your children to learn the necessary skills to one day be on their own and come to a decision on their own in similar situations. Helping to problem solve will only ensure that they will be able to succeed.
Enjoy your weekend.
Todd
If you haven't already click below to sign up for my next parenting workshop. Hurry because space is limited and it is filling up fast.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
So lets look at what your teenager might be trying to tell you. Often those who are parents of teenagers will find that their young adults will come home from school and act one of two ways. Not talk to you because you just don't understand / or they may be filled with information about the day. So when the information or topic is about a negative situation at school or with friends, what do you do as a parent?
1. Keep cool, This will teach your teenager to think and problem solve vs react out of haste. (besides
if they are asking you must be doing something right)
2. Prior to offering your opinion try to figure out if they are seeking your input or only venting.
3. If they are looking for help, try to problem solve. Don't give answers on what you would do,
however ask your child in return open ended questions to help keep the conversation going.
Note: The more you allow your child to talk and discuss the issue the more they will likely be
able to make a decision on how to proceed. You can also use door openers if you feel your
child would like to share something but is holding back, Door openers sound like this:
"I'd like to hear more", "Tell me more", "Go on" .
4. Once your child has developed a plan or an awareness of the situation, complement them on being
able to work it through.
Keep in mind that as a parent you would like your children to learn the necessary skills to one day be on their own and come to a decision on their own in similar situations. Helping to problem solve will only ensure that they will be able to succeed.
Enjoy your weekend.
Todd
If you haven't already click below to sign up for my next parenting workshop. Hurry because space is limited and it is filling up fast.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
SIMPLIFIED = TIME
With kindergarten orientation this morning for my third child, It is really hitting me how fast time does fly.
Everything I do in my life is about trying to simplify my life. In my case it is to save time in order to be able to spend more time doing things that I like to do. (spend time with my family and those that know me, mountain bike). My viewpoint to parents and children alike is to work smarter / not harder. Granted this does not mean be lazy and do nothing. Just make the best use of your time.
So if you are facing a challenging situation in your home / career / family life / recreation life anywhere try to get to the bottom of it and figure out how to move beyond.
So for example if you are having difficulties with your child helping around the house / doing homework etc create a solution and implement that solution.
Life can really be that simple. Sometimes we are so scared of change that we allow ourselves to accept mediocre behavior. Today is that day that you are going to take a leap of faith and put yourself out there a little bit. While it may not be easy: as long as you are acting in the best interest of all involved and not selfishly than you will prevail in the long run.
It really is easy as 1 - 2 - 3.
Step 1. Figure out the problem:
Step 2. Create a solution:
Step 3. Implement that solution.
For those that are able to figure out the problem and are having a difficult time creating a solution pick up a copy of Three Step Parenting. It simplifies almost any problem you may be having with your children. Saving you time from battling headaches.
Click below to grab your copy. Only 2.99.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/three-step-plan.html
Enjoy your day.
Todd
Everything I do in my life is about trying to simplify my life. In my case it is to save time in order to be able to spend more time doing things that I like to do. (spend time with my family and those that know me, mountain bike). My viewpoint to parents and children alike is to work smarter / not harder. Granted this does not mean be lazy and do nothing. Just make the best use of your time.
So if you are facing a challenging situation in your home / career / family life / recreation life anywhere try to get to the bottom of it and figure out how to move beyond.
So for example if you are having difficulties with your child helping around the house / doing homework etc create a solution and implement that solution.
Life can really be that simple. Sometimes we are so scared of change that we allow ourselves to accept mediocre behavior. Today is that day that you are going to take a leap of faith and put yourself out there a little bit. While it may not be easy: as long as you are acting in the best interest of all involved and not selfishly than you will prevail in the long run.
It really is easy as 1 - 2 - 3.
Step 1. Figure out the problem:
Step 2. Create a solution:
Step 3. Implement that solution.
For those that are able to figure out the problem and are having a difficult time creating a solution pick up a copy of Three Step Parenting. It simplifies almost any problem you may be having with your children. Saving you time from battling headaches.
Click below to grab your copy. Only 2.99.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/three-step-plan.html
Enjoy your day.
Todd
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
WELL RESTED
After a great week celebrating my wife's 40th in Antigua, I'm back and well rested.
Let's dive right into it with summer planning. With school ending in less than 8 weeks will you be ready to take on the challenges of having your children around full time. Summer can be a stressful time , however if you plan properly (now) than your days will be filled with happiness and sunshine.
Whether you are a stay at home parent, a full time working parent, a grandparent or a Nanny than you are going to need to plan out your summer.
For you do it your-self-ers than start to cruise the Internet and research what you would like your summer to look like.
Be sure to include your children in this process, the more say and decision power they have the smoother the transition into summer will be.
You will also want to take a look at your house rules and see if they may need some modifying for the summer. Make sure that everyone knows the expectations of each other and success will be yours.
For those of you who just don't have the time or resources, be sure to sign up now for my SUMMER PARENTING workshop on the 24th of May. Thier will be plenty of great local programming as well as Grande ideas.
For less money and time than dinner out you will have two months worth of quality family time ahead of you.
Sign up by clicking the link below.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
Enjoy the day,
Todd
Let's dive right into it with summer planning. With school ending in less than 8 weeks will you be ready to take on the challenges of having your children around full time. Summer can be a stressful time , however if you plan properly (now) than your days will be filled with happiness and sunshine.
Whether you are a stay at home parent, a full time working parent, a grandparent or a Nanny than you are going to need to plan out your summer.
For you do it your-self-ers than start to cruise the Internet and research what you would like your summer to look like.
Be sure to include your children in this process, the more say and decision power they have the smoother the transition into summer will be.
You will also want to take a look at your house rules and see if they may need some modifying for the summer. Make sure that everyone knows the expectations of each other and success will be yours.
For those of you who just don't have the time or resources, be sure to sign up now for my SUMMER PARENTING workshop on the 24th of May. Thier will be plenty of great local programming as well as Grande ideas.
For less money and time than dinner out you will have two months worth of quality family time ahead of you.
Sign up by clicking the link below.
http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html
Enjoy the day,
Todd
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