Preventitive Actions

Time Out vs. Time Away.

I think it is fair to say that most parents know what a time out is. But in case, by definition a time out involves temporarily separation a child from an environment where inappropriate behavior has occurred, and is intended to give an over excited child time to calm down.

Time away, like a time out is removing a child from an environment. The difference being, that time away is a a tool used by adults in the early stage of recognizing a problem may be brewing. The goal of a time away is to prevent an inappropriate behavior from occurring. If presented correctly:
1. You will prevent a negative situation from occurring. Saving you as the adult a lot of stress and aggravation.
2. You will also be teaching your child a coping skill that they may use for the rest of their life.

So, what does time away sound like?

Imagine your children of any age are watching television and all sounds ok. A few minutes later they begin to argue over what show they are going to watch. You hear your older child starting to get really mad about the content of the programming. As a parent our first reaction may be to run in and yell & scream, turn off the show off and kick everyone out of the room. INSTEAD, you will start off by calmly saying "You are not in trouble". This technique will immediately take them off the defense. Then you will follow up by "However, I need you to go to your room for a few minutes to cool off, I will be right behind you to find out what happened". After a few minutes you will visit your child and make sure they are calm enough to reenter the activity. With a little practice and consistency it will go smooth and prevent many outbursts down the road.

REMEMBER: The goal is not to punish, but to prevent an inappropriate behavior from occurring. You may also need to explain the difference to your child the first couple of attempts. especially if you are a regular time out user.

Best of luck and please post feedback on your experiences.

Todd