TALKING TO YOUR PRE TEEN!!!

With Spring in the air and the snow beginning to melt, I'm looking forward to spending the afternoon outside.

So lets look at what your teenager might be trying to tell you.  Often those who are parents of teenagers will find that their young adults will come home from school and act one of two ways.  Not talk to you because you just don't understand / or they may be filled with information about the day.  So when the information or topic is about a negative situation at school or with friends,  what do you do as a parent? 
1.  Keep cool, This will teach your teenager to think and problem solve vs react out of haste. (besides
     if they are asking you must be doing something right)
2.  Prior to offering your opinion try to figure out if they are seeking your input or only venting.
3.  If they are looking for help, try to problem solve.  Don't give answers on what you would do,  
     however ask your child in return open ended questions to help keep the conversation going.
     Note:  The more you allow your child to talk and discuss the issue the more they will likely be
     able to make a decision on how to proceed.  You can also use door openers if you feel your   
    child would like to share something but is holding back, Door openers sound like this:
     "I'd like to hear more",  "Tell me more", "Go on" .

4.  Once your child has developed a plan or an awareness of the situation, complement them on being
     able to work it through.

Keep in mind that as a parent you would like your children to learn the necessary skills to one day be on their own and come to a decision on their own in similar situations.  Helping to problem solve will only ensure that they will be able to succeed.

Enjoy your weekend.
Todd

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http://threestepparenting.blogspot.com/p/parenting-from-theinside-out-take.html